Friday, March 04, 2005

Johnny Damon the Author

Apparently, Johnny Damon is capitalizing on his fame with a book next month titled Idiot : Beating "The Curse" and Enjoying the Game of Life. Sounds real lame.

According to the Boston Globe, "His contract with Crown mandates that he keep his hair long for the book tour." I'm glad to hear that Damon won't be cutting those locks.

Bonds: "I can tell you my testicles are the same size. They haven't shrunk.

This ESPN article is so funny. He kinda admits to using steroids... sorta.

You know what's funny about this stuff. Nobody is even asking him any questions. He's just talking about his "boys" for no reason.

Bonds even brought up another alleged side affect of using steroids, a reduction in size of genitalia.

"They say it makes your testicles shrink,'' he said. "I can tell you my testicles are the same size. They haven't shrunk. They're the same and work just the same as they always have."

Here he goes about his head.
"What's all this about my head size?" Bonds asked. "My hat size is the same today as when I started. My head hasn't grown.

Jake Peavy Bio

It was painful reading this guy's bio. He might be one of the most boring people ever, especially if he think's Ash is so freakin' funny.

Favorite Meal: "It'd be meat and potatoes -- any steak and baked potato really."

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: "Chocolate."

Funniest Players Encountered: "...Andy Ashby has got to be right there on that list as well."

Breaking News: Angels beat the Pads 6-4

Also Teddy flat out called Bonds a cheater.

Tim Flannery made his first appearence in the Padres Broadcast Booth. He seemed alright. I'm so used to just Ted and Jerry that I'll admit it was a little weird.

Using Microsoft Excel to your Advantage in Fantasy Baseball

This Microsoft article tells you how to use Excel to pick the perfect fantasy team. The example is football but...
Of course, the same methodology I've described for selecting a fantasy football team can be applied to baseball or basketball fantasy leagues. Enjoy!

My Secret Source tells me:
The key is finding some place to give you good projections

What Did Jerry Do Today? Vol. I

He took a shower and the curtain fell on him.

Updated 12:38PM: The curtain and the rod came down on him.

John Schlegel from The Official Padres site is on Teddy's show talking about how the sites can be just as hard hitting as any other media organization. I guess. He sounds a little too defensive. Like he knows that anything is going to be somewhat sterilized and sanitized.

All I know is every season since consolidated all the official mlb websites, I've written an e-mail to them telling them how much I dislike it. The official sites used to be really cool. Red Sox had this graphic of Pedro throwing and a voiceover "Welcome to Fenway Park". Yankees had this real intimidating flash intro with a lot of black and the NY logo everywhere. Other clubs had their other things. They had their own personalities. Now the official sites all look exactly the same with different colors. They've all got the same ads and graphics. It's a little sad.

Klesko and Wife

Here's a picture of Klesko and wife from some country music fundraiser

P.S. -- Look at this picture of Richie Sexson. Man horrible "frosted tips".

UPDATE: Didn't his wife used to be his personal trainer for a long time? Is that how major leaguers stay in shape? They hire real hot personal trainers and then eventually marry them?

LoJack and Links

You hear those LoJack commercials on Mighty 1090? Dude with the real smug voice relating stories about people getting their cars back. Is it just me, or does he sound real condescending? That's no way to advertise. Here's how you advertise. Ahh babe... How Jbox loves thee so... It's true, dude. People should know.

They should get her to go to games and cut to her after notable plays. Each time they cut to her she'll be wearing a different cute little outfit, and she can say something like, "It's all about the defense" or "It's all about the pitching" in a real sultry, slightly accented voice. You tell me that wouldn't awesome.

Also, I updated the links to add Padres Nation to our list of Padres Blogs. And David's blog is good music/culture stuff. He's also the manager of Death To Infidels! And he comments, so I thought I should plug him a little.

Update: Following up on the mushy videogames post, This report is saying that Nintendo's Pennant Chase Baseball is being delayed by a month. Man, that's bad form. How do you miss opening day with a baseball game? I was really hoping this would be good too, but the extra delay is huge. I'm ready to buy a baseball game NOW!

Another Baseball Dream? Yes.

Dex has been having baseball dreams recently about guys name Soojay. I had one last night where an old Ted Williams was staggering around the ticket office trying to buy tickets. Nobody was helping him so I went up to help him walk and get his ticket. The guy at the ticket office was charging him 16 bucks for a field level ticket. This is when I realized it was a dream! Freakin' Petco! Anyhow I thought that was expensive in the dream so I was asking him if there was a discount for seniors or for Hall of Famers. There wasn't. That's all I remember.