Thursday, February 24, 2005

Padres Nicknames and Entrance Music: Part II

Here's part I.

Man, Leitner can knock me off my game. Now that I think about it, it's amazing that Coleman made the HOF despite Ted in the booth distracting him. It's just like Mickelson talking about Tiger being great despite using inferior equipment. Jerry is great even with Leitner's distractions. Yeah, Ted, someone who applies steroid cream and acts impersonal really does deserve the same fate as someone believed to have murdered two people.

Anyways, back to what I was writing yesterday.

Ramon Hernandez: Various Latin tunes. I'm not sure if Ramon has any nicknames, though I'm reminded of a game we went to last season where a little kid was in the stadium announcer's booth, anouncing the next batter, amd mispronounced Ramon as Roman. So cute and funny in that childlike dyslexic way that you hope for when you stick a little kid on the mic and make him talk. I was thinking that calling him Roman and then having him come out to a theme from Gladiator would be pretty epic, but then I realized that he'd have to do something epic at the plate, and his music would potentially be a little overconfident. Kinda like the dudes in college ball who come out to the theme from the Natural, then ground out to short. The theme from the Natural is like white ties with tuxes. There's no good time to wear a white tie with your tux unless you're eating dinner with the president or prime minister of a major country or it's your wedding and the president or prime minister of a major country is there. In the same vein, there's no good time to play the theme from the Natural for a ballplayer unless you've just pitched a perfect game, you're retiring and your name is Tony Gwynn/Cal Ripken/Rickey Henderson, or you're 6 years old and your little league team has just won county.

Xavier Nady: X Gon' Give It To Ya' by DMX. X. X-man. I'm a little winded from the previous paragraph so I'll just mention that my wife's cousin Sara went to Cal the same time as X-man. Partied with the dude, and thinks he's cute. Sara, it's true. Don't deny it.

Mark Sweeney: It says on ESPN Beautiful Girls by Van Halen, but wasn't he using Voodoo Chile by Hendrix while he was with the Padres? I sure hope he is. Such a cool guitar intro. And anything good enough for Hulk Hogan should be good enough for a Padres pinch hitter and bench player.

I'll skip the pitcher's batting themes. I know we got some decent hitters in the rotation now, but I have a tough time getting pumped for sac bunts and the odd bloop single.

Aki is using some Metallica theme which is OK. Here's my suggestion. Play up being Japanese a little bit and find a good taiko drum beat to introduce that eigth inning hold. It'd be much more unique than Metallica and it would have some sort of meaning other than Aki couldn't decide on a tune. Or just do Corky's pest control. March up to the mound swinging your elbows back and forth. Lull the batter into thinking you're some sort of dancing clown. Then blow right by that guy with some deadly accuracy. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, BATTER?! YOSSHA!

We all know about Hell's Bells. Yes, it's awesome. Yes, I sound bored with it. No, I wouldn't change it for anything. I guess I should mention I'm fighting a cold.

Actually, now that I think about it, Instead of just having the fire graphics on the scoreboards, just go completely WWE on it and set the batter's eye on fire. Also, if we make it to the world series this year. No joke. Get AC/DC out to the park to play the song live in the 9th. The ultimate, I guess, would be if AC/DC was on top of the batter's eye, while it was on fire, playing Hell's Bells as Trevor jogged up wearing a boxer's robe with the hood up and his entourage strolled up with him, shouting things like, "What time is it!?" and "You ain't ready!" and "Avert your eyes, mortal!" Man, that would be great. Let's make that happen.

Well, that's all I got. More another time.

The New Friar Frank

This Saturday, over at Parkway Plaza, they're going to be doing taste test for the new Friar Frank. I can honestly say that this is something I feel strongly about. A good hot dog is something that will alight my senses while watching a game. Now they're talking about grilled sausage in the park along with other taste sensations. Oh man. My mouth is watering. Reminds me of when they had the super 5 buck mondays. Nothing like that value.

Game ticket: $5

Parking: $5

Enjoying $29 worth of hot dogs with your friends: $29

Watching all that savings go away cause you go ahead and buy the $8 Coke: Priceless!

Secret Source in LA sees Canseco in Gym

Here's what he had to say:

Another random item: I saw Jose Canstinko in my gym the other day. He's big but not as big as you'd think. If the dude hopped on my shoulders we could probably take him.

Where your roids now, Canseco?

UPDATE: to clear up this post. The secret source is a man of small stature but much girth. "The Dude" he speaks of is another man of small stature and 6.5% body fat.

Man this is a dumb post.

Young Pitchers Symposium on Jake Peavy

John Sickels profiles Jake Peavy today. Sickels is a Peavy fan, but it's weird reading the comments and realizing that people don't know who Jake is. What does it take, people!? This is a future Cy Young guy! Let's pay attention!

Over at Ducksnorts, Geoff also has a Peavy writeup. I'm looking for one more writeup on the guy to complete the trifecta. I'm also thinking that if you read Padres blogs and you aren't Jbox, Kev or my wife, you've seen the Ducksnorts post already. Geoff mentioned us again though, which is really nice, so I'm being nice back.

I'm working on the second part of yesteday's post, so this is my one update until the afternoon. Maybe Jbox will write something. Haven't really heard much from Kev lately though.