Friday, February 25, 2005

I really don't like the Pad Squad

Here's why:

1. They act like they own the place. You're not important just cuz you get to walk all over the field between innings and throw crummy gifts to people. But something about me really wants those foam baseballs and tiny bags of peanuts.

2. They never give me crummy gifts. They are always giving the pack of baseball cards to little bratty kids. Stupid Pad Squad.

3. Are Ball girls part of the Pad Squad? Cuz I don't like them either. Seriously they can't field a ground ball and when they go fetch the ball they always give it to their Season Ticket Holder buddy that sits next to them every game. Then they ignore you when you offer them some "Jelly Belly" jelly beans.

4. The guys try to act real hard cuz they got a walkie talkie attached to their shorts. I feel real embarassed for these guys. But oddly I envy them.

5. On one hand it's kinda nice that they don't just pick all the super hot chicks for the squad, but these girls act like they are super hot. Like you don't got time to take some Jelly Bellies from me? Jeez.

6. It's really embarassing watching them try to use the water balloon launcher to shoot t-shirts into the upper deck. They are so weak.

7. In the late 90's there used to be this hot chick that would grab a Padres Flag and run around the Q and get everybody pumped up. We nicknamed her "Flag Girl". The Squad saw her and turned her into a Pad Squader for a season and stole her whole flag routine. Then they ditched her. Poor Flag Girl... poor poor Flag Girl.

Here's some pics:

2000 Pad Squad

2001 Pad Squad

2002 Pad Squad

Check out this former Pad Squader showing a little "base" aka "aerola". This may not be safe for work.

Former Pad Squad (NSFW)

UPDATE on this Pad Squad Article.

UPDATE: More on the Pad Squad here and here.

Story about Larry Walker

Back in the day when the Pads played at the Q and Larry Walker played for the Rockies a funny thing happened. We were sitting in right field and there was a group of guys with letters that read "ESPN!" They sat through the whole game and then in between innings they stood up and called out Walker's name. The stadium was almost empty so he turned around and they mixed up the letters to read "PEN!S". He chuckled and then started making the universal hand and mouth movement for a B.J. then pointed at them as if to say "Well you suck it..." It was real offensive. I'll never forgive Larry Walker for that. Never!

Kevin Towers admits he overpaid for Roberts

This better work out Towers!
Shouldn't KT be on top of stuff like this?

"I'm still kicking myself in the pants that I didn't go after Roberts at the trade deadline, when Theo ended up getting him," Towers said yesterday. "I didn't know he was available."

This is like walking onto a car lot and saying "I'll do or pay anything for that car!"
"I told Theo, 'When the World Series is over, I want Roberts,' " Towers said. "It was kind of funny, because then we ran into Roberts when we walked into the ballpark."