Friday, February 25, 2005

I really don't like the Pad Squad

Here's why:

1. They act like they own the place. You're not important just cuz you get to walk all over the field between innings and throw crummy gifts to people. But something about me really wants those foam baseballs and tiny bags of peanuts.

2. They never give me crummy gifts. They are always giving the pack of baseball cards to little bratty kids. Stupid Pad Squad.

3. Are Ball girls part of the Pad Squad? Cuz I don't like them either. Seriously they can't field a ground ball and when they go fetch the ball they always give it to their Season Ticket Holder buddy that sits next to them every game. Then they ignore you when you offer them some "Jelly Belly" jelly beans.

4. The guys try to act real hard cuz they got a walkie talkie attached to their shorts. I feel real embarassed for these guys. But oddly I envy them.

5. On one hand it's kinda nice that they don't just pick all the super hot chicks for the squad, but these girls act like they are super hot. Like you don't got time to take some Jelly Bellies from me? Jeez.

6. It's really embarassing watching them try to use the water balloon launcher to shoot t-shirts into the upper deck. They are so weak.

7. In the late 90's there used to be this hot chick that would grab a Padres Flag and run around the Q and get everybody pumped up. We nicknamed her "Flag Girl". The Squad saw her and turned her into a Pad Squader for a season and stole her whole flag routine. Then they ditched her. Poor Flag Girl... poor poor Flag Girl.

Here's some pics:

2000 Pad Squad

2001 Pad Squad

2002 Pad Squad

UPDATE:
Check out this former Pad Squader showing a little "base" aka "aerola". This may not be safe for work.

Former Pad Squad (NSFW)

UPDATE on this Pad Squad Article.

UPDATE: More on the Pad Squad here and here.

8 Comments:

At 2:36 PM, Anonymous Kev said...

2002 Pad Squad was crazy hot. Looks like the same dudes from '00 and '01 though.

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger Richard Bart said...

jbox,
Very nice dude. Definitely picking up on your sense of humor there...funny stuff. I have to say that you've touched on a subject I've never thought much about past leaving the gates...but have thought all of those very same points over the years while watching them do their stuff between innings.
Nice jbox, nice!

 
At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They might be hot, but not as hot as Jeter

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger Dex said...

My favorite Pad Squadder is the real intense blonde girl. She's the girl in the 2001 photo, second row, all the way to the right. Standing a little taller than the others with the visor. While the other girls would all have their cute faces on, she'd have this real intense look about her, as if she could clap the Pads to victory all by herself.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Jefe de Jefes said...

Man, that posting cracked me up.

I had the same feeling about the Pad Squad. I could never pinpoint the source of my animus towards them, but you did. That was great.

If I could add to your list.

1) the guys all act like cheerleaders. They have that goofy double cheerleader bounce as they're trying to rev up the crowd. They also occasionally resort to the fist pump in the air.

2) Obviously, this is a job for those that are currently attending, a junior college, or college in the Greater San Diego area. And generally, people that attend these instutions are between the ages of 18-22/23. I find it sad that there is always some lady that is just a little too old for this age group in the Pad Squad. It's kind of sad really. She's holding onto her fleeting youth.

3) the "groundskeeper" that dances by the 3rd base line in about the 3rd inning. Note to everyone. That guy is not a groundskeeper, he actually sits near me at the games. So there really is no novelty in having a non-groundskeepr dress like one and dance for about three minutes.

I wonder how they get ready for action. Do they get in the locker room and get fired up as they're putting on the uniform?

I always like to entertain myself by looking at the Padres players reactions to the guys. Check it out. Their is some level of disbelief there.

My least favorite thing about the Pad Squad came last year in the series against the Dodgers in late July. It was a Friday night and I was in no mood, after seeing my beloved Pads, failing to move runners into scoring possession in nearly every inning, to have a Pad Squad guy try to rally up the crowd by standing on a chair in front of my seat with a flag waving routine. Was this a Padre flag? No. This was an American flag. Was this a hostage-release party or the 4th of July parade? No, this was the 9th inning of a game. I wasn't sure what the American flag had to do with anything related to Phil Nevin actually getting ahold of a slider so I asked why he was waving the flag. The Pad Squad dude looked at me like I was insane.

We refer to them as the PAD and not the Pad squad for obvious reasons.

 
At 10:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys are all really sad sad people. You go to a baseball game and complain about people who are trying to help you. If you have nothing better to do than watch people doing their job and complain about it, then you definately have no life. At least the Pad Squad is doing something. You guys are pathetic.

 
At 5:39 PM, Blogger PadresHonky said...

Bros, where did you get those photos of the Pad Squad teams. Do you know where to get more of them?

I also agree about the intense chick being hot. You can just tell she just loves her Padres.

For the most part, the Pad Squad was pretty cool to me. I know my mom told me not to take candy from strangers. By the way, you're kinda creepy with that Jelly Belly crap.

Now that I think about it, I would have gotten scared of you too. You weren't wearing a trench coat or anything were you?

Why don't you stop scaring young girls and just watch the ballgame.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger jbox said...

Thanks for all your comments dudes. I wrote some replies in a new article.

 

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