Thursday, March 17, 2005

New leadership for baseball

Sorry about my previous outburst. I'm all better now. These hearings were fascinating. I especially liked the insinuation that perhaps there should be some wholesale changes happening in baseball's leadership. I never really liked Bud Selig myself.

And what was up with the gapped tooth guy constantly rolling his eyes and shaking his head and audibly muttering under his breath. Man, that guy had a pair. I was waiting and waiting for a congressman to walk over and smack him, but it never happened. Why doesn't cool stuff like that happen?

I remember in college, when I used to have a subscription to Maxim, reading an article about a bodybuilder on roids. Or maybe it was in Stuff. Details? Whatever. In any case, the article was really disgusting, because the roids ended up giving him such bad constipation, he literally tore himself a new one to relieve the pain. Does anybody else remember that article? I mean, dude tore himself a new one.

If they want to have a PSA video that really works, you just have a reenactment of that scene. Ask a high school kid if he wants to go through that. I mean shrunken testicles is one thing. Roid rage? Please! Their coaches encourage aggressive behavior. But having to tear yourself a new one because you haven't been able to go for 2 weeks. Ummmm... yeah... I think I'll be playing golf this spring...

We gotta get regular baseball talk going again. This is getting distasteful.

I officially hate Mark McGwire

Who does this guy think he is? I'm watching the CBS Feed. Every answer McGwire gives is, "I'm not here to talk about the past. I'm here to turn this into a positive."

When asked what led to him eventually using Andro, McGwire goes on with, "I'm not here to talk about the past. I only want to turn this into a positive."

A positive!? Hey McGwire, you prick. You scumbag. You two faced red haired jerk. Ain't no POSITIVE on this subject. It infuriates me to listen to this LYING CHEATER take the fifth and talk about "positives".

(I said I "hate" him... I've gone to the dark side.)

What Did Jerry Do Today? Vol. V

He got up.

He went to the ballpark at 8 o'clock. He called somebody in San Diego about an article on him. Eventually, to avoid excess conversation, he faxed over his biography.

Today was also a wash day. Left the dryer running.

For breakfast, he was in the mood for bacon, but it was gone by the time he got to breakfast. He accused the "snuffers" of eating all the bacon before he could have some.

Before getting to the park, he discovered that somebody was in his parking space. Number 116. When he eventually got the space for his car, a lady came up and gave him grief for taking her space. They had words.

Baseball's solution to the steroid problem

Eliot Pellman, Major League Baseball's medical advisor, likened steroid use to an "insidious, contagious disease," but defended baseball's current program. Pellman said that a new video will be shown to players, who will also have access to a special hotline.
WOAH THERE! Slow it down, buddy. Maybe we should start with a few fliers and a web page. A special hotline and video is pushing the budget just a tad. No need to do more than we have to!

I would love to have seen the forehead slaps that followed this statement. This sounds like a little kid trying to come with an answer to the timeless parental question, "How do you think you should be punished?"

"Ummm... I guess I could skip watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at 4 o'clock and only watch Mucha Lucha..."

I mean really, a video and a hotline? Pellman... You're sitting in a CONGRESSIONAL HEARING! Nobody wants to hear about your crappy video and phone counselors. Jeez.

Steroid Hearing Today

Is there someplace to listen to this live? I'm not in front of a TV. I'm looking at the scorecard. It looks like it'd be interesting to listen to.
[Tom Davis (R-Va.)] cited studies that suggest that high school athletes think steroids are less harmful and that the number of high school athletes that have taken steroids has tripled over the last decade.
To be honest, I don't think it matters that that athletes think steroids are less harmful than before. Malcolm Gladwell talks about cigarette smokers in his book The Tipping Point. When smokers were asked how many years they thought they were losing due to smoking, the average was 9 years. In reality, studies estimate smokers are, on average, losing about 6 years of life due to smoking. So the people who smoke think it's more dangerous than it actually is, and yet they continue.

To paraphrase his conclusions (perhaps badly), people smoke because it's cool. The promised chance of death and exclusion from non-smoking prudes only makes it that much cooler.

What does that mean when it comes to steroids? It means that obviously, if something's not actively killing you, people don't care about what happens down the road. It also means that steroids have apparently become kinda cool which is really unfortunate for the integrity of the game as well as the health of our children.

Your children, really. I'm concerned about your children. I don't got kids yet. If a son of mine decided to use steroids, ain't no roid rage gonna save him from the whoopin' he'll get when his dad gets to him. He'll have to call his huge yolked out Arnoldesque buddies to pull me off him.