Friday, March 18, 2005

Back to business...

(Jbox, here's some wine snobbery for you.)

Someday, when we all become rich from blogging, I'm going to buy a winery in wine country, and I'll produce a grape. A grape that produces a slightly yellow wine. It will be very wet and sloppy and yet extremely bitter. Occasionally, the wine will do something nice for you, but the immediate aftertaste will leave you annoyed. I'll force people to drink my wine, even though they may not want to. I'll be able to do this because I'll have a no trade clause in the wine's contract. I'll call it... (did I wait too long for the punchline?).... the Klesko!

It's good to know that after yesterday's hearings, we can go back to what Padres fans have come to expect... more whine! Klesko style!
"It's not just the dimensions. The ball hangs up in the salt air. I was surprised when I saw the park, but what are you going to do?

"Will they admit that they were wrong? No. Will they bring in the fences? No.
Can you taste the bitterness? The wetness? Keep in mind, this is a very expensive wine that prevents you from buying something truly refreshing, like a Dr Pepper.

On Yoga:
"I like the program," he said. "It's a great way to start the morning. The stretching has a reason. You can feel that. It's the right type of stretching. I will continue to use the yoga. My back has felt great."
Well, we're all glad that his majesty approves.


At 9:25 AM, Anonymous Kev said...

What are you so mad at Dex? Easy on Klesko. He put up huge numbers yesterday.

"Klesko looked like his old self, driving in six of San Diego's first seven runs on two homers and a single as the Padres beat a Colorado Rockies split squad 16-7 on Thursday."

At 9:34 AM, Blogger Dex said...

Dude, Kev. Did you read his quote? This guy seriously thinks that they should've built Petco to fit his hitting style. On top of that, he still believes it. This is a guy who's barely an all-star and he wants them to fix the park for him? You think guys like Peavy or Loretta think that way? Here he had a great day, yet his blurb in the paper is complaints.

No trade clauses turn these dudes into toddlers.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger jbox said...

Klesko sucks.


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