Thursday, February 24, 2005

Padres Nicknames and Entrance Music: Part II

Here's part I.

Man, Leitner can knock me off my game. Now that I think about it, it's amazing that Coleman made the HOF despite Ted in the booth distracting him. It's just like Mickelson talking about Tiger being great despite using inferior equipment. Jerry is great even with Leitner's distractions. Yeah, Ted, someone who applies steroid cream and acts impersonal really does deserve the same fate as someone believed to have murdered two people.

Anyways, back to what I was writing yesterday.

Ramon Hernandez: Various Latin tunes. I'm not sure if Ramon has any nicknames, though I'm reminded of a game we went to last season where a little kid was in the stadium announcer's booth, anouncing the next batter, amd mispronounced Ramon as Roman. So cute and funny in that childlike dyslexic way that you hope for when you stick a little kid on the mic and make him talk. I was thinking that calling him Roman and then having him come out to a theme from Gladiator would be pretty epic, but then I realized that he'd have to do something epic at the plate, and his music would potentially be a little overconfident. Kinda like the dudes in college ball who come out to the theme from the Natural, then ground out to short. The theme from the Natural is like white ties with tuxes. There's no good time to wear a white tie with your tux unless you're eating dinner with the president or prime minister of a major country or it's your wedding and the president or prime minister of a major country is there. In the same vein, there's no good time to play the theme from the Natural for a ballplayer unless you've just pitched a perfect game, you're retiring and your name is Tony Gwynn/Cal Ripken/Rickey Henderson, or you're 6 years old and your little league team has just won county.

Xavier Nady: X Gon' Give It To Ya' by DMX. X. X-man. I'm a little winded from the previous paragraph so I'll just mention that my wife's cousin Sara went to Cal the same time as X-man. Partied with the dude, and thinks he's cute. Sara, it's true. Don't deny it.

Mark Sweeney: It says on ESPN Beautiful Girls by Van Halen, but wasn't he using Voodoo Chile by Hendrix while he was with the Padres? I sure hope he is. Such a cool guitar intro. And anything good enough for Hulk Hogan should be good enough for a Padres pinch hitter and bench player.

I'll skip the pitcher's batting themes. I know we got some decent hitters in the rotation now, but I have a tough time getting pumped for sac bunts and the odd bloop single.

Aki is using some Metallica theme which is OK. Here's my suggestion. Play up being Japanese a little bit and find a good taiko drum beat to introduce that eigth inning hold. It'd be much more unique than Metallica and it would have some sort of meaning other than Aki couldn't decide on a tune. Or just do Corky's pest control. March up to the mound swinging your elbows back and forth. Lull the batter into thinking you're some sort of dancing clown. Then blow right by that guy with some deadly accuracy. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, BATTER?! YOSSHA!

We all know about Hell's Bells. Yes, it's awesome. Yes, I sound bored with it. No, I wouldn't change it for anything. I guess I should mention I'm fighting a cold.

Actually, now that I think about it, Instead of just having the fire graphics on the scoreboards, just go completely WWE on it and set the batter's eye on fire. Also, if we make it to the world series this year. No joke. Get AC/DC out to the park to play the song live in the 9th. The ultimate, I guess, would be if AC/DC was on top of the batter's eye, while it was on fire, playing Hell's Bells as Trevor jogged up wearing a boxer's robe with the hood up and his entourage strolled up with him, shouting things like, "What time is it!?" and "You ain't ready!" and "Avert your eyes, mortal!" Man, that would be great. Let's make that happen.

Well, that's all I got. More another time.

4 Comments:

At 10:25 PM, Blogger Geoff said...

I vote for Corky's Pest Control, especially the bit where he's smashing ants with the baseball bat. Too cool.

 
At 7:10 AM, Blogger Nerd Hater said...

How about "Turning Japanese" for Aki?

So Taguchi comes out to that...pretty funny stuff, considering what the lyrics actually mean.

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger Richard Bart said...

Don't know if this has been mentioned yet but my all time favorite Padre batting music was Caminiti's. If you recall it was Hendrix's version of "All Along the Watchtower"...so great!

 
At 12:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweeny came out 2 "california" by tupac in the game against the "Anaheim Los Angeles San Diego Storm of Lake Elsinore" but probably because it was just an Exhibition

 

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