Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Padres Nicknames and Entrance Music

It's about that time for this. Let's go down the (potential) lineup. I'll be referring to this mostly:

Dave Roberts: Does he have a nickname? What about entrance music? Do you get entrance music for pinch running? If so, why? If not, why not? Oh, wait I got it here. Yeah! by Usher. That's good. Start off every game with the party anthem. We're here to have fun!

Loretta: Lowridah! Excellent in how seemingly inappropriate it is. One suggestion. He should just go all the way with the music that barely fits the player and use the Korn version of the tune. That's right, the one complete with the smokers coughing in the background and the bagpipes playing the main theme.

Phil Nevin: Symphony of Destruction by Megadeth. Driving guitars is always good for an entrance theme, but I have a better suggestion. Sweating Bullets off of the same album. You got the bass drum kicking and the slow guitars building right to the crazyman voice. "Hello, me. Meet the real me!" Everybody in the place will think he's psycho. It has the bonus effect of explaining away any nutty comments to the press.

Brian Giles: I think we should break out the J-Lo nickname machine and call him Bigli this year. Pronounced like Gigli to continue the J-Lo reference, and then switch his music to Everything's Gonna Be Alright by Naughty By Nature; A song used in the movie (according to imdb), completing the reference trifecta! That song also works as a theme as I predict he suddenly finds a huge bat during this contract year.

Ryan Klesko: Rhino. Bad to the Bone. That's how you do it. Now let's hit some home runs.

Khalil Greene: Blessed with a name that requires no nickname and yet, Spicoli? Do they really use that? Hopefully just in the clubhouse.

Sean Burroughs: "Sausage", "Burly", "Little Tubby". Whenever I'd go to games, Burroughs would have some random Mexican polka tune. Such a weird dude.

(Off topic... Leitner just now wished death on Barry Bonds on his radio show because of the whole steroids thing. I wonder if somebody who hated Cammy wished death on him after he revealed he had used roids in the MVP year. Bad taste this Leitner guy. He groups Bonds with O.J. Simpson, who I should probably remind you is an alleged murderer. Leitner's nuts. I'd probably look like a HOF broadcaster sitting in the booth with him.)

I'm so distracted now. I'll finish this later.


At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Didn't Gwynn used to come out to Macy Gray?

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Dex said...

It was the Batman theme. Both from the movie and the tv show. Macy Gray? Of all the... Is this Kirk? You anonymous sonuva...

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Nerd Hater said...

I'm no longer anonymous!

Gwynn loves Macy's a fact.

At 12:36 PM, Blogger Dex said...

Goodbye and I choke... I try to walk away and I stumble...

Sounds like the Cardinals postseason. And before you say it, I take comfort in the fact that if the Padres were in the world series, that they literally could not have done any worse than the Cards did.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Nerd Hater said...

Uh, first, the Padres did exactly that in 1998 (maybe you weren't a fan then).

Second, he likes Macy Gray cause he hopes to have a voice as deep as hers one day.

Third, the Padres favorite song is by Kris Kross, "I Missed the Bus"

At 1:12 PM, Blogger Dex said...

My first: The Padres lost to arguably the second greatest Yankee club in history. The Cards lost to redneck karaoke and a good luck midget.

Second: Kris Kross? Does everybody in St. Louis still live in the early 90s?

Third: San Diego is prettier than St. Louis.

At 1:22 PM, Blogger Nerd Hater said...

1. Whatever you need to do to sleep at night.

2. Yes, we're at least a decade behind everyone else. I'll start liking Wilco and that band with the guy in the white suits and stuffed animals in about 6 years.

3. Truedat...but we have the Arch and a brewery.


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